I am finally out of the dark and feel like I can talk about this. This is something I should share, for myself and for any one else that might go through it.
Here's the thing: I can't gush.
Here's the thing: I can't gush.
I'm not one of those new moms who goes on and on about how life's so wonderful or how "I've never known a love like this before". Lots of times I would find myself thinking "I wouldn't feel this way if I was a good mom" or "I want to be a better mother for him."
I realize that my hormones have been all over the map and it's not entirely my fault. Some people are lucky to have family supporting them and unfortunately there's an ocean between me and mine. Sleep deprivation is an actual form of torture so it's no surprise I've gone a bit mad. Plus breastfeeding is hard, man. It's all a bit of a shock. I love my son, really, and I would be absolutely devastated if anything were to ever happen to him.
The first 8 weeks are very difficult. Fake it till you make it was my daily mantra. I think I am starting to come out of the woods now and I am so grateful for that. If anyone else is/has struggled with coming into their new role as a mother: you are not alone. It's ok. Take care of yourself; it's the best thing you can do for your little person.
Please feel free to contact me or share your experience in the comments.
